The Lonely Island

[Intro:]
[Intercom:] Guys, Michael Bolton is here
[Andy:] Oh great, send him in.
[Michael:] Hey guys
[All:] Hey, thanks for coming.
[Andy:] How's it goin'?
[Michael:] I'm really sorry I'm late I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon... have you seen those things?
[All:] Oh yeah, yeah, those are, those are great.
[Michael:] Well I listened to your track and I loved it, and I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you're gonna really dig.
[Andy:] Oh wow that's great, awesome. You wanna just lay it down?
[Michael:] Boys let's get to it (to it to it to it)

[Andy:]
Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (Yeah)
The night starts now
Together on the track, the boys are back
The night starts now
Night starts now, baby, roll with us
Chickens snapping at the neck when we rollin' up (Rollin' up!)
Blow through the doors, ain't no holdin' up
Black card at the bar like I gives a fuck (Come on!)

[Jorma:]
Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set
Fuck the fellas looking jealous
Play the back and get wet (Yeah yeah)
Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock,
You either get cut, get stuffed or get shot.

[Michael:]
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow
Pirate so brave on the seven seas (What?)
A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway on the ocean's breeze

[Akiva:]
Yeah that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club
Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love (Keira Knightley!)
Motherfucking ice-man, I'm the top gunner
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner (Jack Sparrow!)

[Andy:]
Watch it girl cause I ain't your "Mr. Nice Guy",
More like the "meet ya, take you home and fuck you twice guy"
(Yeah yeah!)
All dressed up with nowhere to run,
And now I make you feel crazy with the-
(Now back to the good part!)

[Michael:]
From the day he was born
He yearned for adventure (No!)
Old Captain Jack (Yeah)
Giving them what for
He's the pauper of the surf
The jester of Tortuga (Oh God)
But is Davy Jones' locker
What lies in store? (Yeah, we've seen the movie)

[Andy:]
Throw your hands in the air
And say hell yeah

[Michael:]
Captain Jack (What?)
Johnny Depp (No)

[Jorma:]
From the front to the back
Say we count stacks c'mon

[Michael:]
Davy Jones (Nope)
Giant squid (Wrong)

[Akiva:]
Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up

[Michael:]
Roger that let me try it with another film (Wait)
Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (Not better)
Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed
I give Jenny all my love (Come on)
Okay, then I'm a legal aid
Erin Brockovich is my name (Oh God)
Then you can call me Scarface
Snortin' mountains of cocaine (Close enough)
You cockroaches wanna play rough?
Okay, I'm reloaded! Ha ha!

This is the tale of Tony Montana
Cubano flame with the Miami nuts
(Take it home!)
Got a basehead wife
But her womb is polluted
This whole town's a pussy
Just waiting to get fucked
Just waiting to get fucked!
(Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile)
You complete me (Yeah, yeah okay)

Oh dang!
What is it dawg?
I forgot it's Mother's Day.
Didn't get a gift for her?
Other plans got in the way,
She'll be so disappointed,
Damn, I forgot it too!
This could've been avoided,
What the hell are we gonna do?

My mom's been so alone, ever since my daddy left (cold),
No one to hold her tight, life has put her to the test,
I know just what you mean, my mom's been so sad and grey (word),
My dad can't satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away.

Hold up!
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
I'm thinkin, I'm thinkin too.
Slow up!
What time is it dawg?
It's time for a switcharoo.

We both love our moms, women with grown women needs,
I say we break 'em off, show 'em how much they really mean.

'Cause I'm a motherlover,
You're a motherlover
We should f*ck each others mothers,
F*ck each others moms!
I'll push in that lady, where you came out as a baby,
Ain't no doubt that sh*t is crazy,
F*cking each others moms!

'Cause every Mother's Day needs a Mother's Night,
If doing it is wrong, I don't wanna be right,
I'm calling on you, 'cause I can't do it myself,
To me you're like a brother,
So be my motherlover.

I'm layin' in the cut waiting for your mom,
clutchin' on this lube and roses,
I got my digital camera,
Imma make your momma do a million poses,
They will be so surprised,
We are so cool and thoughtful,
Can't wait to pork your mom,
Imma be the syrup she can be my waffle.

Show love, my momma loves bubble bath with chamomile,
Straight up, give it to my mom d-d-d-d-d-d-doggy style,
This a perfect plan for a perfect Mother's Day,
They'll have to rename this one,
All up under the covers day.

'Cause I'm a motherlover,
You're a motherlover,
We should f*ck each others mothers,
F*ck each others moms!
I'll push in that lady, where you came out as a baby,
Ain't no doubt that sh*t is crazy,
F*cking each others moms!

Break it down.
It would be my honor,
To be your new step-father,
It would be my honor,
To be your new step-father.

And while you're in my mother,
make me another brother,
And while I'm in your mother,
I'll never use a rubber,
Oh!

'Cause every Mother's Day needs a Mother's Night,
If doing it is wrong I don't wanna be right,
I'm calling on you 'cause I can't do it myself,
To me you're like a brother,
So be my motherlover,

They blessed us both with the gift of life,
She brought you in this world,
So Imma sex her right,
This is the second best idea that we've ever had,
The choice can be no other,
Be my motherlover.

Happy Mothers Day!

Read more: http://artists.letssingit.com/the-lonely-island-lyrics-motherlover-feat-justin-timberlake-xjd8gz3#ixzz1nhcl8lej
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The Lonely Island - I Just Had Sex

[Andy Samberg]
quelques fois
quelque choses de merveilleux peut se produire dans ce monde
(Akon)
... tu sais juste pas comment l'exprimer alors
(et lonely Island)
tu as juste a chanter
...

[Akon]
Je viens de baiser
Et c'était si bon
Une femme m'a laisser mettre mon pénis a l'intérieur d'elle
Je viens de baiser
et jamais plus je ne reviendrais
A ma vie de chasteté d'autre fois

[Andy Samberg]

As tu déjà baiser ?
Je l'ai fait, et c'était trop bon
Je me sentait si bien quand je l'ai fait avec mon pénis
Une fille m'a laisser le faire
Ca s'est vraiment produit
Baiser peut faire sortir du bon du pire mec

[Jorma]
Tu ne devineras jamais d'où je viens
J'ai baiser
Si je devais décrire les sensations, c'est les meilleures
Quand j'ai baiser
Mec, mon penis se sent bien
Et j'ai appeller mes parents après avoir fini

[Andy Samberg]
Oh hey, je ne t'avais pas vu
devine ce que je viens de faire
j'ai baiser, nu, j'ai vu ses seins et le reste

[Jorma]
trop bien
c'était gentil de sa part de te laisser faire ca

[Andy Samberg]
La plus gentille de toutes les filles au monde

[Jorma]
Maintenant chante

[Akon]
Je viens de baiser
Et c'était si bon
Une femme m'a laisser mettre mon pénis a l'intérieur d'elle
Je veux le dire au monde entier

[Andy Samberg]
Pour être franc
Je suis surpris qu'elle ai eu envie de le faire avec moi

[Jorma]
Ca n'a pas vraiment de sens

[Andy Samberg]
Mais mec, on s'en fous
Je vais pas protester pour une si bonne chose
Elle pourrait devenir ma femme

[Jorma]
C'était bon a ce point ?

[Andy Samberg]
Les meilleures 30 secondes de ma vie

[Jorma]
Je suis tellement reconnaissant envers cette capacité des femmes de me laisser faire

[Andy Samberg]
Car serieux j'ai baiser avec un tas de fumier
En ayant ca en tête, la douceur, et le parfum d'une femme c'est mieux

[Jorma]
Elle m'a laissé porter mon collier et mon pull col roulé

[Akon]
Alors cette chanson est dédicacé aux filles
qui nous laissé ont laisser leur tourner autour
si vous êtes loin ou proche, qu'importe petit ou grand
Nous voulons vous remercier de nous avoir laisser vous baiser

[Jorma]
Elle a pas arrêté de regarder sa montre

[Akon]
Peut importe t'as baisé

[Andy Samberg]
Mais j'ai pleuré tout le temps

[Akon]
Peut importe t'as baisé

[Jorma]
Je pense qu'elle doit être raciste

[Akon]
Peut importe t'as baisé

[Andy Samberg]
Elle m'as mis un sac sur la tete

[Akon]
Ca compte quand même

Je viens de baiser
et mes rêves sont devenus réalité
Si tu as baiser dans les dernières 30minutes tu peux chanter avec moi
Je viens de baiser
Et c'était si bon
Une femme m'a laisser mettre mon pénis a l'intérieur d'elle
Je viens de baiser
et jamais plus je ne reviendrais
A ma vie de chasteté d'autre fois

Imagine in your mind a posh country club
the stuffy old money where the poor get snubbed
the spread is bland sour kraut and boiled goose
there's no way these people will ever cut loose

But then I walk in the room hold my boombox high
and what happened next will blow your mind

Everything got outta control
the music was so entrancing
evryone got out on the floor
it was a bunch of old white people dancing

Now picture if you will a bunch of business men
stuffed in the board room like pigs in a pen
the ties around their necks are like a hangmans noose
in the middle of the table there's a boiled goose
the old people smell makes you wanna puke in the sink
these dudes'll never dance yeah thats what you think

I stride in the room all young and hip
hold up my boombox
and say listen to this

Then evryone they started to move
people rejoiced instead of financing
your preconceived notions were shattered
by these super old white people dancing

The big apple, where people never dance
spirits go down while profits expand
the cops or the dealers whos got the juice
the street vendors peddling their boiled goose
so many types of people will never get along

Till i bust out my boombox and play this song
the music washed away all the hate
and society started advancing
evry demograghic was represented
it was a rainbow coalition of dancing

whoahohoh
every one was wearing fingerless gloves
whoaohoh
I saw a spanish guy doing the bartman

Transport now to an old folks home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones.
The orderlies are stealing - there's no excuse!
Every day for lunch they eat boiled goose.
So I grab my boom box and hit the turbo bass,
And what happened next was a total disgrace.

Everybody started having sex!
The music was way too powerful!
A bunch of old people f*cking like rabbits!
It was disgusting, to say the least.

A boom box can change the world,
But you gotta know your limits with a boom box.
And this was a cautionary tale,
A boom box is not a toy!